Retreaded

It was my first date with my girlfriend. We were talking about Lady Gaga when I let the word slip.

“That’s retarded,” I said.

Instantly and without hesitation she corrected me. “’Ridiculous’,” she said. There was no irritation or offense in her voice, but I could tell I touched on something. She works with people that have mental handicaps, and the word “retarded” is not a popular word in that field. I was grateful that she didn’t mark my ill language against me, corrected myself and we moved on with our evening. Turned out great, by the way.

 Language is a funny thing, isn’t it? A word that has one meaning can eventually take on another meaning, depending on society at the time. They become re-purposed for new uses, yet that word still has meaning in its original sense.

Take the word “gay”. I won’t go into definitions (because I’m lazy and don’t want to write it… but also because you are lazy and don’t want to read it), but the original meaning of the word “gay” related to happiness, bright colors and celebration. Eventually it began to be applied to homosexuals. Because they’re happy people. I can’t back that up. Moving on…  In the past few years, though, “gay” has become a popular term for something that is stupid or unpopular. I think using the word “gay” in that manner is stupid, but that might just be me.

Or, take (and yes, I’m going there) the word “nigga”. We all know the unpleasant and unwelcome origin of this word, and there’s a good reason it’s not used in popular vernacular: It’s offensive and unkind, a term from an age of bondage and disrespect to our fellow man. But in a lot of African circles, the word has become a term of brotherhood. Or, if you listen to Tupac it means they have bling. Oh, and if you want to take a look at the state of racial relations in our country, go to Urban Dictionary and look up the word “nigga”. Wow.

And “retarded”? The root of the word, “retard,” (and I am betting at least half of you pronounced it in your head just like Zak Galifinakis did in The Hangover) has to do with slowing or hindering something. So “retarded” is something that is slowed or hindered. It’s easy to see how that came to be applied to people with mental handicaps.  And in reality, using “retarded” to describe something that is stupid beyond belief (Lady Gaga) isn’t accurate at all.

There’s a connection between these three words, too. Misuse of any of them will invariably result in someone being offended. Words have a lot of value in our world, and people tend to take some very personally. But the people offended are often basing their ire on a definition to the word that isn’t the original definition either.  They’re usually angry about the misuse of a re-purposed word.

They’re making the same mistake, aren’t they? Shouldn’t the only definition of something that counts be the original definition? I have made no secret that I think people are too easily offended these days, so maybe everyone is just overreacting and the re-purposing our language to suit our culture is part of our culture, an event that is sometimes painful or ungainly but inevitable.

The line has to be drawn somewhere, though. We can’t just start applying random definitions to random words whenever we feel like it. Down that road lies bad mojo. But more importantly, what the hell do I say instead of “retarded”? I dislike “ridiculous” because when I hear that word I think of only two things: hobo clowns and Neil Diamond. Neither applies to Lady Gaga. Well, I guess both kind of apply. But not enough for Lady Gaga or any other person or thing that I used to use the word “retarded” for.

So in the spirit of this blog, I am seizing a word of one meaning and applying it to another. I’m sure the irony will not be lost on some of you, either.  Because when an old tire is made new and sold as-such, it is re-purposed. But only to marginal success (as we all can see on our highways).

Lady Gaga, you are retreaded.

I rest my case.